The Wedding VS The Marriage

The Marriage vs The Wedding


There is something about seeing a beautiful girl in a wedding dress. The vision is even more mesmerizing to a young girl. Young girls dream from early ages of the day that she will meet her prince charming, walk down the aisle in a vision of white. She has the wedding planned by the time she is 13. Every wedding she goes to she watches the bride. She pays attention to the dress, the veil, the hair, the make-up, the way she laughs, the way she dances with the groom. It seems to be a fairytale come true.


The moment the ring is on the finger the real planning starts. The bride puts in endless hours of shopping, attending bridal shows, planning, discussing, researching, interviewing , cake sampling, phone calls, pintresting (is that a word?), Facebooking (another new word for urban dictionary). Some young ladies even start a dieting and working out just so everything will be just perfect for the wedding and the reception after. So hours upon hours, day after day, month after month the time is filled with the planning of the wedding. The day arrives, anticipation has built up, energy is building to that moment. The moment when she walks down the aisle and he sees her. They say “I do”.   They kiss. The celebration starts with family and friends for a couple of hours after. Then the wedding is over.


Now what? What happens? According to Bride magazine most engagements and the planning of the wedding last for 18 months. That is a considerable amount of time spent in planning a wedding. What happens AFTER the wedding and the reception is over? What is normal for you and your new husband? You will no longer have to talk about what you should get as a gift for the groomsmen, what will say for your vows, what color with the theme be. Now what?

Will you have a wedding planning hangover? What will you do during the time you spent planning the wedding now that it is all over with?

Remember this is also a time to focus on each other and the upcoming marriage, not the upcoming wedding. The wedding is one day. The marriage is forever, right?

Enjoy the engagement. Here are a 3 tips to help focus on the marriage vs the wedding.

1-     No W word! At least 1 night a week there should be no talk of the wedding. Only speak to each other about the future together. Share your hopes, dreams and visions that you have as a couple.

2-     Keep a gratitude journal.   It can be short and sweet. Daily or weekly. Share daily or weekly what you are most thankful for in each other. Invest in a really nice journal book for each other.  Make a promise to each other to keep it up to date.  Keep the journals separate and private. Share on the night of your wedding or the night you return from your honeymoon.

3-     Fun. This is something that can get lost in all of the planning. The planning can turn into a job and sometimes jobs are not fun. Be sure and have fun with each other. Enjoy this engagement time, savor it, splendor in it, be present and enjoy every moment that you have with each other. Do not think of things you are doing during the engagement as a task. This is a journey and journeys are meant to be fun.

Enjoy the engagement … its about the Marriage not the Wedding!


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